So, I read Twilight about a year ago, and I must say, I really regret doing so. It was awful. Horrendous. Treacherous. Atrocious. Repulsive. Basically, I didn't like it. I didn't read it all, I used it to hit a spider when I was halway through and didn't want to touch it again. That spider was my favorite spider, the only one I ever liked, because it stopped me from having to continue. If I start a book, I want to finish it no matter how awful it is, unless it has spider germs, then it gets shoved back onto one of my overstuffed bookshelves.
Anyway, onto the book. Why don't I like it? Well, let's start with the characters.
BELLA
Bella is your plain and average Mary Sue with a tacky name (Bella Swann means Beautiful Swan). She's boring and bland and has no personality whatsoever. No goals, no real life outside of her boyfriend, her sparkly boyfriend. She says she's not pretty, but she has at least four guys falling for her, but *gasp* strange and mysterious Edward doesn't! What do you expect Bella, what do you expect? She spends the entire time weeping, complaining, and whining. And when Edward finally does become her boyfriend, she stops complaining and starts repeatedly mentioning how "handsome" he is. She even thinks it is sweet that he watches her while she sleeps! And then there's vampire baseball.
EDWARD
He's creepy. Just creepy. Too perfect, just way too perfect, he has no flaws whatsoever (just like Bella has no personality whatsoever) and now that I think about it, really has no personality either. And he sparkles. SPARKLES! How can he ever be perceived as intimidating or dangerous when he SPARKLES? Stupidest idea ever. And he watches Bella sleep, which only adds to his creepiness. But I must admit, I do feel sorry for him, he has to put up with Bella.
BOOK
The writing is awful, just because there's a fancy little adjective in every sentence, doesn't mean it is a good book. It really is just poorly written, I think at age seven I could've written better. I mean REALLY, sparkly vampires? What? Did her kid accidentally spill glitter on his stick figure and she thought, "Hey! That's a great idea little Jimmy! The vampires should sparkle!" And vampire baseball? Come on!
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